Trusting Your Instincts as a New Mom: My Journey Through Ties, Breastfeeding, and the NICU

Becoming a new mom is a whirlwind of emotions — joy, exhaustion, awe, and, sometimes, deep worry. When I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, I had no idea how quickly I’d be called to advocate for him. What started as what I thought were “normal” breastfeeding challenges soon turned into something much more serious.

And it all began with a feeling — a deep, gut-level sense that something wasn’t right.

When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Feel Like It Should

From the very beginning, nursing my son was short and frustrating- but not painful like I was expecting it to be. He struggled to latch deeply. Feedings were shallow and frequent. He seemed fussy and tired after each attempt. As a healthcare professional, I knew what "normal" feeding was supposed to look like — and this wasn’t it.

Early on, I brought my concerns to the lactation consultant in the hospital, but I was quickly dismissed. “It looks fine,” she said. “He’s probably just adjusting.” Those words planted a seed of doubt in me. Was I overreacting? Was I just a nervous first-time mom? Even with my professional background, I began to question myself.

Then Came the NICU

On day three, everything escalated. My son’s bilirubin levels had climbed dangerously high, and we were admitted to the NICU. I was devastated.

The doctors explained that his jaundice was likely due to dehydration — caused by his limited ability to breastfeed. The feeding issues I had been voicing from the beginning weren’t just frustrating anymore — they were critical. My baby wasn’t getting the nourishment he needed because his mouth simply couldn’t move the way it should.

The Turning Point: Oral Ties Diagnosed

After we were discharged, I followed that persistent voice in my head and scheduled an evaluation with a local provider who specializes in infant oral function. The diagnosis: tongue tie, lip tie, and buccal ties. All three were restricting his ability to latch, suck, and feed efficiently.

Finally, I had answers. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t overreacting. I was right all along.

We scheduled his release procedure, and it was both an emotional and empowering experience. My son handled it like a champ — and within days, I noticed changes. His latch improved. Feedings were less stressful. He seemed more at ease. And most importantly, he began gaining weight and thriving.

What I Want Every Parent to Know

If you’re a new parent and something feels off — listen to that feeling. I can’t stress this enough:

• You are your baby’s best advocate.

• Even professionals can overlook things.

• Your instincts are valid, powerful, and deserve to be heard.

Had I continued to ignore my gut, we might not have discovered the ties until much later — after more complications and more emotional strain.

If You’re in the Thick of It…

Here are a few things I wish someone had told me sooner:

• Tongue, lip, and buccal ties can drastically affect feeding. It’s not just about pain or latch — it's about function, weight gain, and overall wellness.

• High bilirubin can be linked to poor feeding caused by ties. If your baby is sleepy, jaundiced, or not gaining weight, a tie evaluation may be warranted.

• Lactation consultants vary in their experience with ties. If you’re dismissed, find someone trained in tethered oral tissues (TOTs) — such as an IBCLC with specific training in this area.

• Support is everything. You are not alone, and there are providers and parents who have walked this path and want to help.

To the New Parent Reading This

I know how hard those early days can be — the tears, the doubt, the exhaustion. But let this be your reminder:

✨ You are not too emotional. You are not overreacting. You are the perfect parent for your child — and your intuition is one of your most powerful tools. ✨

If you’re sensing something is wrong, please don’t wait. Advocate. Ask questions. Get second (or third) opinions. The peace and progress that follow are worth every ounce of effort.

This journey has changed me as both a new parent and a provider. It gave me the confidence to speak up — not just for my son, but for every other parent who’s been told to “just wait and see.”

So if no one’s told you yet today: You’ve got this. Trust yourself. Your instincts are wise. And your baby is lucky to have you. 💙